smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
