Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
