i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
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well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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