dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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