Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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