she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
