You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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