no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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