My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She told me I should be a condom model.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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