What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
