another moral hangover. fuck.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
