He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i've created a new STD.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
