dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize