I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
