One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
