And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize