girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
