this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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