Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
