3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
