there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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