Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
you made out with another girl for some wings
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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