I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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