He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
