I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
