then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
