i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize