I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
