Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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