Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
