it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
