The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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