It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
