We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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