So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
