Nicole vs. Life
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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