You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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