I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
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Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
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REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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