Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You're a waste of cheezeits
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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