'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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