I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
