She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
