I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Ladies don't puke and tell
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize