I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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