Only a mothe r could love this liver
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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