4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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