I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
A bitchslap is in order.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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