that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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