I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
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I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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