Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
