and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
