How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize