A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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