Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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