Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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