your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
