Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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