her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize