my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
