Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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