The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
