Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
